May 2, 2021 ~ Being a Mentor, Growing a Career, and Advancing Entrepreneurship
Links mentioned:
Jeanessica Sorto’s Social Media:
Transcript: Hi, it’s Janice Dru-Bennett and today is Sunday May 2, 2021. I’m really excited today to have Jeanessica Sorto with me. We met through the Women's Entrepreneurship Mentors program of Hudson County. Janice Dru-Bennett: What we would like to talk to you a little bit today is the growth of your own business, as well as the growth of your own career, since both Jeanessica and I have had a career, as well as started our own businesses. And then we'll also talk a little bit about mentorship. So Jeanessica, why don’t you introduce yourself to start? Jeanessica Sorto: Hi everyone, my name is Jeanessica Sorto. I am a financial controller for a tea supplier I’ve been with them for 13 years. I also have my real estate license and I just started a business called Steep Roots Tea company, where we combine our love for tea and mindfulness. Janice Dru-Bennett: Great! So Jeanessica, you mentioned that you had a few mentors throughout your career and right now and I'd love to hear a little bit more about the mentorships that you created for yourself, how you found your mentors, and a little bit more about what interests you have. Jeanessica Sorto: Absolutely. Every relationship that I encounter I feel there’s an opportunity to learn, so a mentor it can be someone who doesn't even know they’re mentoring you. But, to be specific, I registered for women's entrepreneur networking event some time ago, and I recall missing the event, for some reason. But later, I received an email asking if I wanted to become a mentee or mentor so I immediately replied, and I signed up to be a mentee. I wanted to connect with other women to share experiences and goals without judgment, so I met you on that call. And we talked about our professional careers, we learned that we had similar experiences when it comes to going from peer to manager, and so I wanted to learn more about how you transitioned into your role. I needed advice, and so I feel like I’ve talked to you and have learned more in that area. And we also talked about advancing in our careers and how constant learning plays a large role you shared some very helpful platforms which I was unfamiliar with one of them is Clubhouse you also mentioned Elpha and Right Pitch, which I have not looked into yet. I also connected with Kelly Soto on that call, and she has been very insightful when it comes to the business. She has questioned me on my financial plan and future goals. She also was generous enough to invite and introduce me to her networks, where I was able to connect with other women. It is through her that I have been able to promote my business practice speaking and sharing the mission of my company and also she's connected me with charitable organizations. Janice Dru-Bennett: That’s great. And so, as you you've kind of grown in your career become a manager can you share some of the career tips that you learned, as your role has progressed? Jeanessica Sorto: Yes, in my professional career, I would advise anyone wants to grow within their role to work on building their skill set daily, to learn things that make them the best at what they do or see themselves doing to connect with people in the role in which they wish to be in and to learn from them. I'd also say to practice mindfulness and focus their attention on time and things that will get them closer to achieving where they want to be. Janice Dru-Bennett: That’s great and, similarly, I think, as you've started your own business, can you share some of the challenges and resources that you've found helpful during starting your business and as part of your job as well? Jeanessica Sorto: Yes, so when starting a business, I’m sure you know there’s many challenges, but ones that will haunt you forever or negative self-talk, self-doubt and high expectations. So I feel, where we are our own worst enemy and we need to train ourselves to be more aware of what goes on in our minds. We can talk ourselves out of anything if we allow ourselves to so when starting your own business, you also need to check your expectations at the door, because the people you think will support you are not always the most supportive. Janice Dru-Bennett: Can you can you dive into that a little bit more, when you say that people who you think are most supportive aren't? Jeanessica Sorto: Yeah, we expect a lot from our friends and family, and so we expect them to be the first ones to support our businesses and it’s not always that way, we have to lean into outside networks to believe in our mission first and then everyone else will follow. Janice Dru-Bennett: Yeah, and you talked a little bit about you know, eliminating the negative self-talk and kind of meditation as ways to help you kind of ground yourself. Janice Dru-Bennett: Are there some resources that you found helpful and kind of diving into additional ways that people can actually overcome that negative self-talk? Jeanessica Sorto: So, I have the Calm App where I practice a guided meditation daily, and they have multiple topics from self-doubt to building confidence to practicing self-compassion and those are all things that have helped me to feel better about goals that I’m looking to accomplish. I don’t talk myself out of things so easily, and I’m not so hard on myself anymore. Janice Dru-Bennett: And there’s also an app that I’ve used called Marigold that is a Confidence App, and I actually have a discount code that I can share if anyone is interested in a confidence-based app too. Jeanessica Sorto: Oh, that would love to look into that. Janice Dru-Bennett: Are there any other insights that you'd like to share that you think would be a value? Jeanessica Sorto: Yeah, so I really enjoy using Clubhouse. I haven't started my own room yet as we discussed, but I am working my way there. Slow progress is better than no progress. I’ve listened to many topics from starting a business to angel investing and practicing my sales pitch one of the reasons I love clubhouse so much is that I can speak and make faces. It’s I myself and I, no one can see me. I also subscribe to Lunchclub, which is another website where you can connect with people once a week or twice a week as many times as you like to talk about topics, you may have in common with someone else I’ve also listened to TED talks and I’m subscribed to LinkedIn Learning, Coursera and Udemy. Janice Dru-Bennett: Yes, I, like all those resources as well, and I think EdX is another kind of MOOC (Massive Open Online Course) program I’ve done as well. So, I think you had a few questions for me as well about mentorship, right? Jeanessica Sorto: Yes, I did want to say one more thing about being a mentee and starting your businesses is: Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you know. No one ever gets to the top by themselves, so we have to be able to speak up and ask for help. It’s how we learn it’s how we overcome fear and it’s how we grow and then now move into your questions. Janice Dru-Bennett: Sure, yeah and I think vulnerability is always tough when you’re kind of working on on building yourself up and a career and a business and at the same time that that is a core part of being able to build relationships and really be open to change. Jeanessica Sorto: Yeah, so have you been a mentee? Janice Dru-Bennett: And I absolutely feel that being a mentor is part of you know, it goes two ways. So often as a mentor I feel like I’m a mentee as well in that I’m learning from whomever I’m mentoring. And I actually did start out with several mentors in my career where early on in my career in the financial services industry. Starting out, you’re paired with a mentor which was very helpful. So I think companies that do encourage pairing of mentors and mentees can really be beneficial for especially people early in their careers. I’ve also been matched with mentors through different programs like in Rhode island there’s the Tech Collective and there was a women’s entrepreneurship or women's tech mentoring program and I was matched with Kathleen Malin, who is Rhode Island Foundation’s VP of Technology and I was working you know, in a technical space and really was highly valuable to have someone to talk to, and now, now that I’m still in technology. There’s also an organization called T200 hat just kicked off and I’m really excited. To help kind of guide women who are on track to the C-level that are matched with mentors who are already in the C-level or you know one step below and kind of just finding the one person above or toward where you want to go to find that that mentor. One other site that I think is very helpful provide for finding mentors has been Ivy Exec and they have a whole set of profiles of mentioned mentors, and I can put post links. Whenever I post a YouTube video, I’ll include links as well to share. With Ivy Exec, I’ve been matched with the CMO, and I also have a longtime friend I met through Ivy Exec. So you know, I think there are definitely platforms out there, where you can find a mentor. And I was just talking to another woman about mentorship and there’s also sponsorship, which is someone at your company, who would advocate for you. Or someone who is at another company, who would advocate for you to go there or kind of really move up in your career or kind of gain a promotion or be, you know, recommended for a role that you might not have done before. So finding a sponsor as well, can often be you know helpful as we move forward. And the woman I was talking to who seemed to be very accomplished, and she said she had never had a sponsor. So, as we think about being a mentor or being a mentee I think some of that is also finding a sponsor – or being a sponsor for someone. Jeanessica Sorto: So, do you feel that it’s best to be matched with someone or do you think it’s better to pick your own based on how the WE networks or the women entrepreneurs network platform is where you’re able to meet everyone individually and choose who you want to mentor you? Janice Dru-Bennett: I think it’s good to have a combination like Lunchclub, that does the AI matchmaking, so I don’t necessarily pick who they match with me but I’ve met some really wonderful people, and you know, I think that some of them may lead to mentor or mentee relationships. Part of it is being active as a mentee to articulate what you’re looking for, because I think if you’re as a mentee if I go to a mentor and I don’t know what I’m looking for it’s a lot more difficult to have that relationship. And as a mentor I want to help guide the mentee where they want to go based on you know my experience and it’s really important from a mentor perspective for the mentee to come to me with their agenda and that reminds me of one other platform that I’ve been a mentor on I can’t remember the name of it but I’ll post the link as well, where they had a whole mentoring training and it was matchmaking through corporations that were paying for mentors outside of their corporation, and I ended up with several mentees through that platform. And I could probably look it up real quick while we're talking. Why don’t you talk a little bit more about you know whether you would consider being a mentor and I’ll look up the site? Jeanessica Sorto: I would consider it, I’m just curious to know. How do you know when you’re ready to be a mentor because I feel like I am self-motivated and I know what I want to do. And that plays into the mentor role right where you can have the resources or you've done the legwork and you can share those with someone else. And also inspiring others and motivating them to empowering them to make those changes that will lead them closer to where they want to be. So how do you know you’re ready? Janice Dru-Bennett: Well, you know Jeanessica, when I talk to you, I think you’re ready… When I think one of your questions for me was: when did I become a mentor, how did I know I was ready to be a mentor? And the first thing I thought of is when I was 12 years old, and there were a group of kids around me that were younger than me and I lead them in an engaging conversation and while the parents were talking, I led a little conversation with the younger kids. I had started babysitting at a very early age, and I feel like there’s a bit of mentorship there as well, guiding someone along who's not as far along as you or even someone who might be ahead of you, in some ways, but be able to learn from you in other ways. So I think, as long as you have the confidence to share your knowledge, which I think is something that I’ve worked on my confidence with mentors and through the confidence app like I mentioned and Toastmasters and practicing speaking, all of these things have helped build my confidence over the years, and I think anyone is ready to be a mentor you know by just being available to listen to someone and share thoughts and advice and creating that environment. And I just looked this up, the website where the program that matches mentors with mentees. It’s called Everwise and you can apply to be an Everwise mentor and based on your experience they'll match you with people who are normally their companies are paying for them to have outside mentors. Jeanessica Sorto: Okay. Janice Dru-Bennett: That’s a good way for you to try out; I’ll definitely send all of these links that we've talked about... Jeanessica Sorto: So, what would you say, are the challenges and benefits of being a mentor? Janice Dru-Bennett: I think part of the challenge of being a mentor is finding the time and often one piece of advice I had gotten when I was looking for mentors is asking your mentor: How often do you have to meet you want to meet? Where are you able to meet? Weekly or every other week or once a month? For half an hour? For an hour for two hours? Really finding out from the person you’re asking to mentor you, what their availability is. I think my limit at any given time may just be one or two people I can mentor. And then I think another challenge is maintaining that relationship, because I know you and I too, often will say were busy at work, we can’t meet. And so, maintaining that commitment, as both a mentor and the mentee and following through and kind of keeping it up -- that’s why I think Everwise has a really strong program where they do six-month structures. I remember when I did my mentorship through Tech Collective I had asked Kathleen you know how long do you mentor people, and I think it was three months or six months, and then sometimes you maintain that relationship for the rest of your life and other times you part your ways and you don’t talk again. I think having a mentor is at any given time, there might be a different reason you could need a mentor or different reasons as a mentor. I’m mentoring, because I like to help others and at different times, I may have less time to give back mentorship. And I know some people will charge for mentoring as well, which I think is more like coaching in some ways, when there are certified coaches that can really help guide you towards a specific direction. Jeanessica Sorto: So is there a big difference and I’m sorry for so many questions, but what would you say is the big differentiator between a life coach and a mentor other than the pay? Janice Dru-Bennett: Yeah, I mean… there are paid mentors as well, and I think sometimes it’s the level of experience, not necessarily experience. Like the life coach often has certifications and they have a structured way of coaching. Just like, my kids started playing baseball and soccer but the kids’ coaches are a parent volunteers. Now, if they were to continue to progress, they’re going to potentially look for stronger coaches or private teams. I used to run, and I would work with a running coach through a running club. Or there are paid coaches for running, so I think it all depends on the level of skill that you’re looking for -- like a mentor somebody who I think has a lot of experience and is willing to share that experience or even just like I said a little experience, whereas a coach or a paid mentor often has additional value that they’re bringing to the table that might be kind of more tangible that’s a different level. Jeanessica Sorto: Of commitment too, I think. Janice Dru-Bennett: Yeah, absolutely yeah. I think if you’re paying a mentor, you might be less likely to cancel the meeting. Jeanessica Sorto: Although have you ever had to stop mentoring someone because their commitment wasn't there? Janice Dru-Bennett: I’ve never told someone let's stop this mentoring relationship, I think it naturally just stops like if there’s one or two, and then we agree they don’t have the time or the commitment, or if there isn't a good fit with the kind of personality. Very rarely. I’ve also mentored young, there’s a Mentor Rhode Island program where I was a mentor for a second grader and I really love doing that, until I had to start commuting farther than I could mentor the younger child. But I think mentoring children is something I really enjoy as well… And it’s really hard. Like Big Brothers Big Sisters is also a way to find younger kids to mentor. Jeanessica Sorto: My son was enrolled in the Big Brother program so I’m familiar with it. Janice Dru-Bennett: Was it valuable for him? Jeanessica Sorto: It was, yeah he learned a lot. Janice Dru-Bennett: And yeah, I would love to see… Jeanessica Sorto: And they maintained that relationship for quite some time. Janice Dru-Bennett: Yeah, I think every kid could use a mentor and every person and being a mentor is is really rewarding as well and that’s well better than the challenges and then it overcomes the challenges when you’re a mentor and you see the relationship building and you see the successes and the way a mentee lights up when they see you as a child and just the resources you’re sharing when people appreciate or say that the mentorship was valuable -- that to me is payment enough. So that’s the other thing: I’ve seen very accomplished mentors who just do it because they feel that that they enjoy the relationship and they enjoy seeing someone grow and there’s different levels. Like your time is value so being able to make the decisions about who you mentor or if you know with your skillset you could, there’s a lot of programs out there, too, and I’ve taken multiple courses online that I paid for, and I feel like sometimes the people who are teaching those courses are like mentors as well, and I’m learning a set of information, and I really would recommend the courses that I’ve taken to others too, and that’s how I had set up my business too, because when I recommend products, services and solutions, I end up earning a percentage of referrals although there’s also some things I refer, where I don’t get paid anything so it’s, you know, there’s I like making connections and sometimes I get paid when I make a connection and sometimes I don’t and I just like to make connections. Jeanessica Sorto: Yeah, it’s a good feeling when you can connect people and each of them is providing something to the other. It’s like paying it forward. Janice Dru-Bennett: Absolutely. Yeah, and I think in terms of advice I give to others who are thinking of becoming a mentor is just jump into it, and even having a mentor to help you with your mentorship if you feel like it’s your first time being a mentor. And that I have a mentee who who's going through this and if I can’t you know where I have a challenge with it, then you can talk to other mentors about, you know, being a mentor. Jeanessica Sorto: That’s a good point. Janice Dru-Bennett: And I do think the structured programs are very helpful because if you've never been a mentor before like with Everwise, they have a whole set of materials that they share in terms of what does the first meeting look like to set the expectations, how do you how do you check in, and then wrapping it up, so that it becomes a very structured way of setting up a mentorship that could help. And clearly, you can do a mentorship in multiple ways, but having a program that helps guide you through, it can also be beneficial. Jeanessica Sorto: All good tips. As always, you’re very resourceful. Janice Dru-Bennett: Yes, and I think you you've got great resources as well, so let's definitely stay in touch and I’ll put your social media links as well, when I post this so that everyone can follow you and the links that I mentioned we can include in the YouTube video as well. Jeanessica Sorto: Thank you. Janice Dru-Bennett: Thank you so much.
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